Keely ([info]rockpapergun) wrote,
@ 2009-04-23 10:10:00
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Current mood: chipper

Carlsberg don't do dog sticks...

alt

I've turned in to one of those people you meet who are absolutely obsessed with their pets. I could only love her more had I carried her wriggling, furry body in my womb & given birth to her myself. I say things like "Did you hear that?! She just yawned & sounded like she said 'merci'. I bet she's French, look at her eyes, French!".

Except, nobody else really understands why I'm so obsessed with my dog. Even my other family members think it's a bit unhealthy. Yeah, they love her, but they don't want to carry her around in a papoose & they don't hide upstairs for five minutes just so they can get a happy greeting from her again. I like the fact that she's ridiculously ugly & her face gets even more mangled when she's happy.
This morning I went downstairs & threw myself at her, & sometimes she looks at me like she really pities me for being a poor, affection-starved human with cabin fever. Judging eyes from a dog are never a good thing. I think it might be important to leave the house more.

Tomorrow I'm off to London, & will be able to shake off the mental impact of spending all my days in this tiny room, trying to train my brain to be a human thesaurus & failing. Instead, I generally just sit here waiting for the man with Down's Syndrome who lives across the road to get dropped off in his bus. I know that sounds horrible, but I'm fascinated by him, he's in his 40s & his name is Martin. He just looks so happy all the time!


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[info]drunkenchipmunk
2009-04-23 09:59 am UTC (link)
People with Down's Syndrome are happy all the time, damn them! There used to be an old man called Martin with Down's Syndrome that came to Sunday School to help out, and he was always so sweet and bizarrely a devout Christian...

I am completely obsessed with my cat. She actually does talk to me with her eyes, and she understands what I'm saying. I swear.

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[info]rockpapergun
2009-04-24 07:21 am UTC (link)
I know, it just looks like they think everything is great all the time. That's just really inspirational, I think!

I think your cat does talk to you. Did you see that documentary about it, & how they proved that animals can converse with humans? It was by a man called Dr. DoLittle. Stunning piece of scientific investigation.

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[info]drunkenchipmunk
2009-04-24 07:38 am UTC (link)
Hahahahahaha! Yeah I saw that documentary, it was great! Really factual and exactly to the point.

My cat is sometimes grumpy/mad, but that's inspirational too. She attacks things if I ask her to.

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[info]drunkenchipmunk
2009-04-24 07:39 am UTC (link)
Of course my cat does not have Down's Syndrome, she has a thyroid problem, which is completely different.

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[info]feeble_slumber
2009-04-23 10:39 am UTC (link)
MWuahah you always bring so many lulz to my flist!

You're not the only dog obsessed peep, hope that makes you feel better;) Now don't judge me for having a chihuahua:p She loves to lay on my legs when I'm sitting and then tries to hug me with her short little fat legs mwuaha.
Fug dogs are the cutest. One day I'll get a really odd looking boston terrier and put bunnyears on her and sunglasses and then I'll drive around with her sitting in this bike basket thing on my beachcruiser:p
/paris hilton

Yesterday there was a down syndrome girl at the shop I work and she made a poop and omg.
I'd be happy too if I could get away with everything:p

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[info]rockpapergun
2009-04-24 07:24 am UTC (link)
Hahaha, I like the fact that you already have your future dog planned out purely so it can be a comedy aid to you. That's the spirit! A dog's not for life, it's for laughs.

She pooed in your shop?! On the floor?

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[info]i__see_monsters
2009-04-23 11:44 am UTC (link)
Oh you're coming here! Come say hello if you want to.
And there's nothing wrong with pet love, pets are the new kids (on the block)

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[info]obscurityknocks
2009-04-23 12:52 pm UTC (link)
I know what you mean. I think about Lephise all the time, even though i haven't seen her for ages. I want to marry her.
It's the same with Malcolm. Actually, I think I'll marry them to eachother - and they'll have cat-hamster hybrids!


Your dog is lovely. :D

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[info]rockpapergun
2009-04-24 07:26 am UTC (link)
I love that you want to marry Lephise! I want to marry Ziggy. I don't even care if that makes us lesbians & in to bestiality, I'm all for it! Joint wedding?

& thank you, I know she's not lovely really but you know how something's so ugly that it stops being ugly & just gets a bit cute? She's that.

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[info]obscurityknocks
2009-04-23 12:54 pm UTC (link)
haha, I just got your title.

'but if they did, they'd be the best dog sticks in the world'

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[info]ohthedecadence
2009-04-23 05:36 pm UTC (link)
Oh God I'm totally obsessed with my dog. I literally roll around on the floor with her and make stupid noises just so she'll get all excited and go crazy. And getting home from work = best part of my day. I get a humungous fuss and she makes stupid noises at ridiculous volume. LOVE.

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[info]rockpapergun
2009-04-24 07:27 am UTC (link)
I'm so glad I'm not alone! It was fine to do that when she was a puppy, she wanted to play as much as I did. Except, in the past few months she seems to have matured a lot & I think she's getting older, now she looks at me like "Don't you think it's time to grow up a bit now?!" & sometimes she just completely ignores me when I call her out of her bed to come & play. What a bitch!

Love that your dog is chatty, too! Think you should record the noises so we can compare & contrast.

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[info]insertfancyname
2009-04-23 06:40 pm UTC (link)
Oh god, what is up with rural areas and weird neighbours?? Count your blessings yours is a cute Down's dude, cos mine is just some kind of freaky retard with lots of lame tattoos who act like he's 12 and keeps running about doing tricks on his bike. He creeps me out like whoa

Enjoy London, you deserve it!

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[info]rockpapergun
2009-04-24 07:29 am UTC (link)
Maybe he's got a crush on you & that's why he's doing the tricks. In his ink-infested mind he might think that the tricks will impress you. I think you should sneak out of your house at 5am & lay carefully camouflaged sticks about everywhere, just so he'll fall off once & hopefully stop after that.

& thank you, I'll give it your love & tell it to expect you before the year's out!

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[info]fcoll_reviews
2009-04-23 07:28 pm UTC (link)
they don't hide upstairs for five minutes just so they can get a happy greeting from her again.

I think that's so lovely! Dogs are ace. No shame! I get made so happy looking at little running happy dogs in the park - makes me have my mad Jack Russell with me by proxy.

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[info]rockpapergun
2009-04-24 07:32 am UTC (link)
I like that everyone on my friends list seems to be just as childish & animal-obsessed with me. It's restored my faith in humanity!

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